This week I have been thinking lots about the voice and its power. We live in a society where those who talk loudest seem to be the ones with the most influence. Edmund Burke once said,
It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare.
I am one of three sisters; I’m the loud one of the three of us (this will not be a revelation for those of you who know me). Because I am the most vocal does it mean that I have a bigger impact than my sisters? Not at all. One is a nurse who has worked with those with HIV in this country and in various other countries; the other has spent the last few years working with children and young people who have suffered as a result of domestic violence. Both are confident, even in though they are quieter in personality.
Biblically we know that even God, who clearly must have the loudest voice ever (He is God after all!), was found speaking in a still, small voice of calm. Elijah had just demonstrated how powerful God was to those who didn’t believe; but this got him in trouble with some people, and scared, he ran into the desert. Once there he was fearful and exhausted; he was afraid he would lose his life. Even though amazing things had happened just before, already he had forgotten how powerful God is, and he was almost a little hysterical. So God had to get his attention - 1 Kings 19:11-12:
Then he [Elijah] was told, “Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by.”
A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.
Those of us who are more vocal can have such good intentions in trying to speak out, but I do wonder if sometimes we damage our plans and our dreams because we think we have to be heard in the loudest way. What is really important is that we need to be heard in the most powerful way, and that doesn’t necessarily mean volume.
Here is the challenge:
To be heard is not to shout loudest
I am absolutely passionate about wanting to make sure that everyone can use their voice, that everyone can have their say, without being shouted down. In reality, in the heat of the moment, this passion can be overcome by my need to be vocal. If I understand that to be heard isn’t to see who can shout the loudest, but to see who speaks in a most meaningful way, then perhaps I will be wiser with my words, and be keener to provide opportunity for those who are not so vocal to speak out.
Quiet people, I applaud you. And I’m sorry for the times you have been overlooked and underestimated because of who you are. My own personal challenge? To look for strength in the quiet places and quiet people; to learn what it means to think more deeply before I speak.
How many times have you heard Christians talk about being ‘called’? I use that language myself. It can be used in context of talking about oversees mission, huge life-changing decisions that people make or in a local church setting when people are thinking of getting involved in things. It is normally spoken of when people are talking about a particular life journey they believe God is asking them to go on.
So why do I think this is a Christian’s worst excuse? After all, we see the stories in the Bible where God does call people to participate in His journey to transform His world. My problem with the way Christians use the terminology of ‘being called’ isn’t so much with what they do, rather with what this means they DON’T do. Let me explain.
Us Christians say things like “I really believe God has called me to serve in the children’s ministry at church”. Trust me, when you work for a church and someone says that to you, it’s music to your ears! However, a month later you can find yourself having this conversation with the same person: “I just feel God is calling me to help with tea and coffee at the end of the service instead of the children’s ministry”.
If we’re honest, there are many times when we use the words ‘God is calling me to…’ as a get out clause. It hides a multitude of honest, and sometimes challenging, conversations. Using the terminology of ‘calling’ stops us from having grown up conversations, and is an excuse for not doing things we know we should be. We use it to hide behind; when we say “God is calling me to a different ministry”, it can be that what we really mean is “when I helped out with the children’s ministry, I felt completely out of my depth and overwhelmed”, or “I just don’t want to do this”. Now THOSE would be refreshing conversations.
For those who run ministries, grown up conversations from those who help can transform the way a ministry runs. If there are particular reasons why people struggle to get involved then by highlighting these honestly, you provide that ministry leader with the chance to improve the way things run. And for ministry leaders, on the other end of the spectrum, let’s not put people in a position where they believe the only way they can move on from a ministry is to pull out the “I’ve been called elsewhere” line or else they know they’d be doing the same role for 30 years!
The one thing that I struggle with more than anything in this area, is when Christians use this as an excuse to not get involved in the most basic caring opportunities; ones that I believe God asks us all to do. For example:
God has not called me to give a sandwich to the homeless man in the town where I live.
When I was praying this morning God did not call me to look out for the lady crying at the bus stop.
My calling isn’t to offer to cook a meal for the single parent and her children I was talking to at church yesterday.
We know what the Bible says about the way in which God describes the lives we should live. Except we draw up a list of those we think don’t apply to us; we expect writing in the sky from God before we know we are being ‘called’ to live out particular attitudes or actions.
So how do we define what we have to be ‘called’ to do? Where do we draw the line? Do I need to be ‘called’ to phone my mum? I’m not sure I’ve ever felt ‘called’ to meet up with friends. I do those things because I care, because I’m interested. My theory? We have to understand again the core elements of what it means for us to be Christians. In Isaiah 61 v1-3, we see the following instructions. We are to:
As we continue through the chapter, we hear directly from God, particularly in v8:
For I, the LORD, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
There are endless verses we could quote from the Bible which speak of God’s love of people, His passion for community and His hatred of injustice; areas which all Christians should connect with and want to live out in the world. When we start talking about ‘calling’ as a reason why we don’t do things, e.g. showing compassion on the homeless, showing an interest in those we come across, giving money to those who are less well off than us; we’ve become legalistic. We’ve decided what we think is and isn’t important to God. Always a mistake.
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with having a particular passion in life; often people do have two or three particular areas that they want to dedicate their life to. However, ultimately we are called to love and care for all people; not something we have to be ‘called’ to, something we do because God made us to be in community and to look out for each other. If we believe that when we become Christians there is something of God in us, then we cannot be so quick to draw up our own rules about the way in which we think we should live. Micah 6v8 says:
No, O people, the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
Let’s give up the ridiculous excuse of “I haven’t been called” and instead be people who are committed to doing what is right, committed to loving mercy and committed to walking with our God. Now THAT will be life changing.
Elbert Hubbard, an American writer, said “The idea that is not dangerous is not worthy of being called an idea at all”. The idea that Christians can transform the world through loving people, looking out for those around them and walking with God is a challenging and potentially dangerous one; but one that I am passionate about. So no more excuses - love those around you, be compassionate and kind, give people your time - even when it is a sacrifice. That’s what makes a difference.
In my work, I have the privilege of teaching about the relevance and importance of understanding and engaging with community.
I am constantly challenged by how we, the Church, perceive community. Do we consider the Church an open community which people are free to join, or as a private club with a strict joining policy? Or do we see the community as people who do not attend our church building yet; a group of people we must go out to ‘save’ and bring to join us in our building?
At its most basic, community is a “set of people who have something in common and are connected through interaction and shared interests” (Gilchrist, 2007, p.viii). The problem with using this definition in relation to the Church is that it would allow us to comfortably sit in our buildings or homes, happy that we are meeting in the same place as people who share the same ‘interests’, i.e. faith.
My hope is that the Church learns to be comfortable with being more fluid. Packham (2008, p.7) notes “Communities are always in flux. New ones are created and existing ones change, not only as a result of changing membership but also as a result of the impact of external forces”. The Church should consider what it means for us to be open to change in a world that is constantly adapting, without losing the core of who we are called to be.
Why is community so important? I believe we were created to be in community; none of us should have to go through life alone. As Crow & Maclean (2006, p.323) say,
“…the appeal to community is a powerful rhetorical device by which groups can seek to reinforce their solidarity, although…this is often achievable only by the exclusion of others.”
Church, let’s not be people who insist on defining community so strongly that we exclude people from our community. The Church is not a community that exists for its own benefit, or for the benefit of those who decide to commit to the community. The Church is a community that is God-ordained; created for the purpose of transforming God’s world. Look at Acts 2:42-47 (The Message):
“They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers.
Everyone around was in awe—all those wonders and signs done through the apostles! And all the believers lived in a wonderful harmony, holding everything in common. They sold whatever they owned and pooled their resources so that each person’s need was met.
They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved.”
I love this passage for all the inspiration it provides for the Church today. Do I think life was perfect for the believers back then? I’m sure it wasn’t. But the way they did community caught the attention of those living around them. Does who we are as a Church create awe in those who see us? Sadly, I think this is often not true. I don’t mean awe because we’re the most fashionable or most professional Church; I’m talking about people being in awe of the Church community because of what God is doing in us and through us; and the way in which this is impacting those around us.
Packham (2008, p.65) describes community work as “the active participation of people in their own transformation”. Perhaps the Church should stop considering itself just as a community to which people can come and look for transformation. Instead we should consider how we include those outside of the Church in their own transformation. Rather than the Church being a ‘saving’ institution, it should be people of faith who work to connect with those around them, to help them discover their own faith journey.
Gilchrist (2004, p.22) suggests the following values are required by those looking to engage in communities:
Imagine a Church that took seriously all five of these values. A Church that, because of their love for God: loves and lives out social justice; looks to include and get involved with all those around them; is open to learning new things and new ways of doing life; with their highest aim being to work together. Now that is a Church that inspires and bring awe to those who see what they do.
Let’s commit to being a people who hear and see what God is doing, and as a result, work to be a community that considers all those around us as already belonging. I love the way Brian McLaren talks about the Church and change:
“…there’s only one hope: we’re going to have to change the wind. Changing the wind would mean changing public opinion, which requires changing the values that guide people individually and as groups, which in turn requires changing the vision of what is both possible and desirable, which ultimately means changing our framing story. In other words, changing the wind means doubting, rejecting, and defecting from our old framing stories, and instead, discovering and adopting – in a word, believing – a new framing story.” (McLaren, 2007, pp.269-270)
Let’s reframe our understanding of what it means for us to be the Church, what it means for us to be inclusive community, welcoming and open to all. And how do we do that?
“…the revolution we need starts in us – in our minds, our hearts – as an act of faith, a transfer of trust from the dominant system to a new way of seeing, believing, and living.” (McLaren, 2007, p.271)
Church, let’s rediscover our calling as true community, believing that we are God’s people to bring change and transformation to all of His world.
Bibliography
Crow, G. & Maclean, C. (2006). Community, in Payne, G. ed. (2006). Social Divisions. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan.
Gilchrist, A. (2004). The Well-Connected Community. Bristol, Policy Press.
Gilchrist, A. (2007). Equalities and Communities. London, Community Development Foundation.
McLaren, B. D. (2007). Everything Must Change. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.
Packham, C. (2008) Active Citizenship and Community Learning. Exeter: Learning Matters.
In the last few weeks I’ve had a developing sense, in various settings, of being expected to prove myself; my ability, my skills, sometimes just the role I hold. In the majority of cases, this has happened in male dominated settings.
I’ve hesitated to write anything about this; I’ve seen how quickly those who raise the discussion get labeled; “feminist”, “difficult”, “one of them” (usually meant as a dig at someone who has dared to rock the boat). I’m not a fan of making a point for the sake of it; life is full of too many important things that need debating to get distracted by pointless arguments.
However, I don’t think this is a pointless debate. In fact, as a woman in ministry this is something that challenges me more and more. As I explore different areas of ministry and am presented with new opportunities, I see the manner in which, at times, I am expected to earn my place (an uncomfortable situation for anyone, regardless of gender).
So my question is this: as women in ministry is there a ‘boys club’ we have to gain entry to in order to achieve all we believe we are called to?
My own answer to the question would be ‘sometimes’ (nothing like sitting on the fence!) I’m sure there are some women who are in situations where they consistently have to prove themselves, and there will be others who are in an environment where men and women understand the equality that God created us in.
I’ve had, and continue to have, experiences of both. When I am seen as a less capable being, on one hand it brings out a determination in me to stand my ground, to be the best I can be at what I do so that gender is not the issue. However, that means I am striving to prove myself. Yet if I stand back and do not get involved to challenge some of the stereotypes that are still within the Christian community, then I am guilty of ‘settling’. I never want to settle, to allow things to just be ‘ok’ or ‘survivable’.
The things is, attempting to transform the places where being a woman in ministry is like being the odd one out in a boys club raises lots of challenges. If you openly try to raise the issue, then you are a feminist. If you highlight specific behaviours then you are being sensitive. If you discuss the long-term working habits of a group then you are being difficult. Even the act of speaking up can get women labeled, let alone the discussion around whatever it is we are raising.
I am fully aware that I sound like I am labeling every man in ministry as a member of this boys club; please hear me right – I know that it is not the case for all. I have come across many men who would not even consider the gender difference in relation to ministry, and I have the utmost respect for them. They hear words, they see skills, they recognize gifting. They don’t see the gender.
So, just some of the many questions this issue raises for me:
I was challenged reading an interview with Rose Hudson-Wilkin in The Telegraph last week. Rose is tipped to be the first female bishop in the Church of England. The interview focused on her gender, and the challenges this has presented her with in ministry. My favourite words from Rose are:
“I was growing up in Montego Bay. Women’s lib was not part of my life. I simply had this overwhelming sense that this was what I was called to do.
Of course, the Church said, ‘No, you’re a woman.’
My reaction was, ‘That’s silly. This is how God made me.’
So I simply said, ‘God, you’ve called me, so you’ve got to make it possible.’ ”
I’m not claiming to have the answers, and if I’m honest there are plenty of times when I don’t even know where to begin. What I do know is this: we are women; created by God, loved by God, called by God, chosen by God. That’s what Rose Hudson-Wilkin understands. She’s not saying don’t challenge it, but she is saying, get on and do what you have to do. Don’t stand by on the sidelines and complain about the state of the situation, don’t say you’re held back by stereotypes and gender. Do what you have to do, what you know you’re called to do.
I know that my God does not ask me to prove myself, any more than a man in ministry has to prove himself to God.
My decision? People can label me as they want, they can treat me as they like, but I am loved, called and chosen by God. He has given me gifts and talents, which He asks me to use to benefit this world, not to bury away. So my prayers are now echoing that of Hudson-Wilkin: “God, you’ve called me, so you’ve got to make it possible.”
“I was growing up in Montego Bay. Women’s lib was not part of my life. I simply had this overwhelming sense that this was what I was called to do.
Of course, the Church said, ‘No, you’re a woman.’
My reaction was, ‘That’s silly. This is how God made me.’
So I simply said, ‘God, you’ve called me, so you’ve got to make it possible.’ ”
“The church has no right to forbid the free exercise of abilities to do good which God has given. To do so is usurpation and tyranny.
Men had better busy themselves in building up the temple of God, instead of employing their time in pushing from the scaffold their sisters, who are both able and willing to work with them side by side.”
